OCD

And then of course there's this bloody OCD which is KEEPING ME AWAKE right now. The washing machine I programmed last night to switch on and work away while I slept has just come on to remind me it is tomorrow.

My OCD is recently diagnosed, I didn't realise that everyone else doesn't have several conversations (what I did last, what I'll do next, what I did in 1963, what i mustn't forget to do next week, what was that tune I heard on the radio last week,etc etc) going on in their head at any one time. It isn't the "stereotyped" activities, hand washing, locking doors several times, that occupy me; although I am often encouraged over and over again, for days at a time sometimes, to carry out a particular activity, usually one that either puts me at risk or will have long term repercussions.

Collecting music has been one of my healthier obsessions over the years, at least, it's healthy when I have money which right now I don't. So what was the answer to those jumbled feelings I put out here earlier this week, well retail therapy of course.

In my teens I collected vinyl 45rpm singles. Because I was music provider for the local youth club I had pretty well every top ten single between 1968 and 1972. Some of these got lost or "borrowed" before they'd hardly been played, some got left behind as relationships ended and so on and so on. Not a big problem so long as I was focused on collecting LP's but one day, out of the jumble of thoughts careering around inside my skull at the time: A Revelation: The World, especially my world, would be a better place if I can replace that collection of 45's.

Believe me, this is serious, the world will be a much better place, pestilance and disease ended, and no more madness in my head.

Big problem.

No more 45's

There are CD's though, and all those wonderful compilations.

And so it began, and soon afterwards a Music Library Programme (its called Visi Trax and its brilliant and you can get a free download for 100 items while you experiment with it and its really cheap when you want to upgrade to get the rest of your collection on (see Synapsa Link above the counter >>>>)), to enter my 930 Vinyl LP's, Cassette Tapes, and CD's on. That's 13478 tracks. Many of these duplicates because I had the same piece on all 3 mediums but mainly because in order to complete my singles collection I often have to buy a compilation CD in order to get one track, hence, I now have "Will you still love me tomorrow" by the Shirrelles 15 times in order to get "one offs" like "This wheels on Fire" from Julie Driscoll et al.

So this week, I traded off the desire to bang my head on the walls to stop the noise, against working on the collection, after visits to Amazon and Asda I have 10 Titles, that's 17 CD's (allowing for multi's, one is a 5 set), that's approx 340 tracks of which I probably already have 315.

In a few days the Euphoria that I now possess "Ob la Di Ob La Da" by the Bedrocks once more, (the fact I already have several versions by both the Beatles and Marmalade never really counted because it was the Bedrocks I owned back then) will fade and become replaced by guilt, and other negative feelings over the money I have spent.

I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, for now I am "feeding my compulsion" by cataloguing all these tracks (Title, Performer, Year, Composer etc) even though I've done many of them several times before, no headaches, no "arguing" while I have this to concentrate on.

There you are then, another little bit of me, if you've enjoyed it perhaps you'd help me out, there's this song "Birds and the Bees" from a duet called "Warm Sounds" in 1968. I think it might be the last piece of my jigsaw but It seems to be discontinued everywhere. Now this isn't the song of the same title by Jewel Akens, totally different song, but if should come across "Warm Sounds" please drop me a line.

Oh, and don't worry if this happens in a few years time, rest assured I wont have forgotten, in fact I'll still be humming the tune several times a week lol.

Luv

Bri (((x)))